


(the devil's in the details) but you've got a friend in me

by andidmarrylarry



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: 80's Music, Alternate Universe - 1980s, Alternate Universe - America, Alternate Universe - High School, Awkward Flirting, Drug Use, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Girls in Love, Insecure Louis, Internalized Homophobia, Kinda, Marijuana, POV Lesbian Character, Pining, Recreational Drug Use, Repression, all characters are 18, also sorry nialls not in here, idk why he just didnt make it in!, not a movie au though, pretty in pink the movie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:34:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25804447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andidmarrylarry/pseuds/andidmarrylarry
Summary: "The carpeted area surrounding the snack bar was packed with kids from Zayn and Louis’ school and she could mostly discern the different groups by the way they gathered. Of course, the roller rink wasn’t much of a destination for nerds or burnouts or anyone Louis had ever really talked to, so she’s mostly categorizing different levels of semi to full high school royalty by the labels on their sweaters and the letters on their jackets. Louis looked over to Zayn and could tell instantly that he had spotted Liam. His eyes grew round and shone like a cartoon character’s. Louis shook her head, dismayed at her friend’s lack of will. At least until she turned to follow his gaze and saw the figure next to her."Or, in the late 80's, Louis was just trying to make it through high school relatively unscathed by sticking with Zayn and not opening up too much to anyone else. When Zayn's hapless crush on the student body president brings Harry - bubbly and magnetic and sweet - into Louis' life, she realizes just what she was missing out on.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Zayn Malik/Liam Payne
Comments: 23
Kudos: 39
Collections: Girl Direction Fic Fest 2020





	(the devil's in the details) but you've got a friend in me

**Author's Note:**

> hiii! this is my first fic ive written in years and i had so much fun with it! thank you so much to our moderator comebackpls1d for organizing this fest and satiating my desire for more girl direction. title is from peace by taylor swift because im obsessed with folklore. anyway, i had been thinking about writing a girl direction fic set in the 80s for a while and i'm glad i got to do it for this fest! the culture references are all somewhat time appropriate, but suspend disbelief as i was not alive in the 80s lol I put specific song titles in where you can play them if you want, i wrote those parts specifically listening to those songs, but its up to you! all mistakes are mine, thank you for reading!

Louis scuffed her feet on the bright carpet and rolled her eyes as Zayn lifted his chin, seeking out a head of feathered brown locks. ‘Crazy Skates’ was as full as it always was on Friday nights, teeming with teenagers hoping to catch someone’s eye, hang out with their friends, get high, or any combination of the three.

Usually Louis and her friends would stay far away from the neon cinder block and cheap pizza, but, much to Louis chagrin, Zayn’s art teacher had redone their seating chart and he now sat next to Liam Payne. So Louis' life consisted of watching her best friend - who gave himself his first tattoo when he was fourteen and nearly cracked his head open daily on the homemade skateboard ramps in their driveways - pine over pastel sweater vests and plaid skirts and velvet headbands. Louis was doomed to days of watching Zayn brood and sketch and write poetry about shirts buttoned to the neck and penny loafers, or whatever it is he writes about as he stares hopelessly after her. 

After finally working on his nerve the whole week, Zayn had barely managed to talk to Liam, but had - less than subtly, Louis guessed - been able to gather her Friday night plans, which resulted in him dragging Louis to the dirty-sock-scented prison that was a roller rink in the center of Wisconsin to waste away the evening watching popular kids skate with varying levels of skill. The only hope she had for the evening lied with the two joints she had in her back pocket and the prayer that Zayn would give up the search so they could go back to her garage and get high and fuck around on the guitar. 

The carpeted area surrounding the snack bar was packed with kids from Zayn and Louis’ school and she could mostly discern the different groups by the way they gathered. Of course, the roller rink wasn’t much of a destination for nerds or burnouts or anyone Louis had ever really talked to, so she’s mostly categorizing different levels of semi to full high school royalty by the labels on their sweaters and the letters on their jackets. Louis looked over to Zayn and could tell instantly that he had spotted Liam. His eyes grew round and shone like a cartoon character. Louis shook her head, dismayed at her friend’s lack of will. At least until she turned to follow his gaze and saw the figure next to her.

[ _Crimson and Clover - Joan Jett & the Blackhearts _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cXFra7gjElw)

The lights over the shiny rink must have turned pink as the whole room was thrown into a rosy glow. A heavy guitar lick rang through the air as a smooth female voice crooned over top. Heart shaped lights danced over the floor as the two friends stood there slack jawed. 

Through the front doors had walked Liam, buttoned up and proper as ever, and she wasn’t alone. Next to her stood a willowy thing with curls tumbling down her back. She wore athletic style shorts, but Louis could tell they weren’t just some old thing thrown on. The cherry red fabric was short and tight, lined with white piping. It matched the thin white t-shirt she wore, which displayed a bright red mouth with the tongue sticking out. Louis felt her lips turn up as she recognized the Rolling Stones logo. 

The tall girl was clearly visiting, or new, because Louis would definitely remember seeing her sitting next to Liam among the beige brick of the lunch room. Louis could feel her eyes scan up from the scuffed leather skates over the girls knobby knees and mile-long legs. Her gaze caught on the girl's navel, exposed between the waistband of her shorts and the hem of her t-shirt. She made it so far to notice that this gorgeous girl wasn’t wearing a bra before she realized herself and snapped back to attention. She flicked her eyes around nervously, but no one was watching her. She let out a relieved breath and looked to her friend, who was still drooling like a puppy over his chaste love interest. 

Louis cuffed Zayn over the head. “We’ll need to secure a wet floor sign if you're intent on drooling over Payne _all_ evening," she remarked, covering for her own lapse in judgement. Zayn shoved her lightly and his eyes skittered to the floor.

“Now isn’t that sweet,” Louis crooned, noticing the apples of her friends going pink. “He’s nervous! He can’t even call dear Liam over here. He’s scared of our student body president. What’s she gonna do to ya bro? Accuse you of treason for staring at her ass?” 

Zayn shoved her again. “I’m not _scared_ of her," he insisted in a tone as close to a whine as it got, “She just smells like jasmine and always takes notes in cursive and _tries_ so _hard._ But she doesn’t look at me like I’m some dumb loser.” Zayn stared into the distance as he drawled on about her royal highness, so he didn’t notice that Louis was only half listening. Most of her attention was focused on looking at the new girl without anyone being able to tell that she was, you know, _looking_ at the new girl. Louis could feel the familiar heat on the back of her neck, the itchiness right in the center of her palms, the lead ball of dread in her stomach. She couldn't help the way her eyes were drawn to the tall figure near the entrance, but it didn't stop guilt from settling heavy in her skull as she noticed the curve of the girl's collar bone peeking out of the collar of her shirt. Just as Louis pulled her eyes away from the sheer stretch of the girls white t-shirt, she had only a few seconds to panic as Liam Payne’s eyes landed on her. 

Before Louis knew it, a shiny grin was splitting Payne’s face, and she was on her way over. Her stride was short, but sure, and Louis instantly knew that the creature she had brought with her would follow, meaning Louis had about thirty seconds to get her act together. Great. She squeezed her eyes shut and dug her fingernails into her palms before looking over to Zayn. He looked like a deer caught in the headlights, but Louis had no time to talk him down in the middle of her own panic. 

Before they knew it, Liam was in front of them, shimmering just as she did at 8 am on a Monday or leading the auditorium in their school song. One look at Zayn was enough to know he was doomed. 

However, Liam’s blinding grin was pointed at Louis. Much to her dismay. 

“Louis!”Liam began, full of enthusiasm, “how are you? I love your outfit! I don’t usually see you here! Only really in government, sixth period. Wasn’t that test last Friday crazy? I felt like I didn’t do anything but study the whole week before, didn’t you?” 

Although surprised, Louis wasn’t actually too put off by Liam's verbal mudslide of platitudes and small talk. She was right, they really only saw each other in government class, but Liam wasn’t as much of a pain in Louis ass as one would think she would be. She was dead smart, but did not flaunt it as much as anyone expected her to, and she was always friendly. Louis couldn’t help but giggle at her comment about her outfit as she took her own in. Her acid washed jeans were ripped at the knee and her leg hair poked through. She was relatively confident that Liam had never listened to the underground band that was on her t-shirt, and the ripped flannel was Zayn’s, and was both too big and covered in patches and burn holes. 

“Uh, thanks, Liam. Yeah, that test was crazy” Louis started, not actually even certain she was present for said test. “And uh, yeah, we don’t usually come here a lot…” she looked at Zayn, who stared at Liam, whose eyes were firmly and pointedly fixed on Louis' face, “but Zayn thought we should tonight. This is Zayn by the way, I think you guys have met?” Louis finally gestured to the silent cornball who stood next to her, not helping himself at all.

Like an exhale, Liam finally allowed her eyes to find Zayn’s and her smile melted a little bit. It was clear she was trying hard to pretend that she hadn't noticed him. 

“Oh yeah, we have. Hi Zayn.” Liam's hand flew up in a sort of half wave before falling back to the hem of her skirt. Zayn smiled shyly at her and sort of fluttered his fingers in a way that Louis was certainly going to file away and make fun of him for later. He beamed at Liam and mumbled something about their most recent art assignment. Liam's face lit up and she plopped herself into the seat next to Zayn’s, immediately enthralled. Louis felt mostly satisfied that she had met her wing-woman requirements as the two began chattering, before being interrupted by a small cough.

“Oh yeah…” Liam sighed, face displayed on the platter of her hand, eyes still glued to Zayn, “Louis this is Harry. She’s new. Harry, this is Louis”.

Louis’ heart rate sped up again as she looked over to the beautiful girl again. In the onslaught of Liam's politeness, she had forgotten the true dilemma she faced this evening. The most gorgeous girl with the most beautiful hair and the most distracting white t-shirt was staring down at her as she felt her hairline and armpits get damp. 

“Uh, hi”, Louis forced out, shooting her hand out to shake Harry’s. Harry looked at her face and then her hand before reaching her own out, a small smile on her lips. It was all Louis could do not to slap her hand against her forehead in a cliched expression of exasperation. Who fucking _shakes hands_ anymore? The last time Louis _shook someone's hand_ was when her mom finally dragged her to church for the last time when she was fourteen. Still, she followed through with the shake, knowing it was too late to backtrack, and steeled herself to press on. Unfortunately, It wasn’t so easy to just start a conversation with the most devastatingly stunning girl that Louis had ever seen with her own two eyes. She looked to Zayn for support, but all she saw was Zayn taking his turn to stare admiringly as Liam droned on about something (probably something very Important and Smart and Clever, obviously.)

When it finally came to Louis' attention that she was on her own, she also realized that Harry’s hand was still captured in her own sweaty one. Her face heated up as she dropped Harry’s hand like she had been scalded.

“Sorry, uh. Sorry,” she mumbled, wiping her hand on the front of her jeans and scuffing the toe of her dirty converse on the floor. She forced herself to look up at the girl, who was likely a few inches taller than Louis even when she wasn’t wearing skates. As it stood, she was currently towering over Louis like a huge beautiful oak tree. If oak trees had long curly hair that kind of smelled like sunscreen and big green eyes. Louis stopped her train of thought and forced herself to tighten up. 

When Louis had found herself in this situation in the past, she just avoided the girl like the plague. For example, in sixth grade, when Eleanor Calder held her hand at recess and Louis couldn’t get her breathing to slow down until she got on the bus home, she never talked to Eleanor again. Freshman year when she and Perrie Edwards shared a semester of gym and Louis caught herself spending forty five minutes of each day staring at the indent of Perrie’s bra strap through her assigned gym t-shirt, Louis started ducking into classrooms instead of smiling at her in the hallway. Each time she could feel the warm stickiness begin to fill up her gut, could feel the sweat prick her skin, the guilt creeping up.

Louis knew that most girls wouldn’t react well to being gawked at by some weird, loser, loner type who sits in their garage every Friday playing music that like ten people show up to hear. Most girls especially would react well if that loser was another girl. So. In most cases, this would have been the time for Louis to bolt. But she just couldn’t make herself do it. Maybe it was the shiny look of repulsive puppy love on her best friend's face or maybe it was the fact that Eleanor’s pretty skirts and Perrie's bouncy laugh never made butterflies swoop in her belly quite the way this near-stranger was. Either way, Louis forced herself to try and _not_ be creepy, for once, and make conversation with Harry so Zayn could secure his position as student body first husband (first lad? First man? Sexism truly does run rampant in this day and age).

“So, yeah. I’m Harry. I’m new”, Harry interrupts Louis’ internal monologue, and her voice is scratchy and slow. It drips off her tongue like honey and Louis is forced to run her hand through her shorn hair, just to give it something to do. 

“Right.” Louis responds, smiling. “Sorry. That was weird. That I shook your hand.”

“No, it was rad. People don't really shake hands that much anymore,” she responded, awkwardly but with a smile. Louis returned it.

“Cool,” She clipped back. She could feel how awkward she was being and it was making her skin crawl. “Did you want to, like, sit?” she ventured. Harry let out a big exhale and her smile grew tentatively.

“Totally,” she responded, and they found a spot at a nearby table. 

When they found themselves facing each other over a sticky blue table, some of the tension melted away. Louis learned that Harry had moved from California this summer and would be joining them for the rest of Senior year. It explained the way her skin glowed and her style was just a little bit different from everyone around her. It was endlessly charming in a way that Louis really couldn't help but notice. 

Sheepishly, Louis revealed that she and Zayn were in a band-type-thing with some other friends and that she liked to skateboard. Harry listened to her intently, eyes imploring her to continue. Although Harry was clearly the more interesting of the pair - Louis had lived here her whole life and hardly considered anything about that intriguing - she couldn't seem to learn enough about Louis and what she liked to do. Louis chalked it up to the girls enthusiasm to make new friends in a new school. As much as she wouldn’t admit it to herself, she hammed it up a little under the direct attention of such a pretty girl. She could feel her mannerisms grow more theatrical as Harry asked about her younger brothers, her favorite things to do around town, the best teachers at school. 

The thing was, each time Harry laughed at something Louis said, Louis could feel herself craving her approval more. Harry would snort and cover her mouth and Louis could literally _feel_ the way she needed Harry to _like_ her. It was this terrible, desperate ache in the pit of Louis' stomach. One that would only ever be soothed by the direct focus of one green-eyed new girl. Louis could already feel that she would do very nearly anything just to get Harry to _look_ at her, and she felt her control of the situation - what was left of it, anyway - quickly slip away. 

She reached around to the back of her head to rub at the short fuzz there while Harry sipped at her drink. The quiet break in conversation only served to emphasize how quickly they had gotten along. As if surfacing for air and remembering where they were, the two girls looked over to their friends before glancing back at each other. The odd couple a few tables away were still chatting insistently, but now Liam’s knee was pressed into Zayn's under the table, both of them leaning towards each other like there was some gravitational pull between them.

The two girls shared a giggle at how obviously smitten the pair was.

“Can I tell you a secret?” Harry whispered exaggeratedly. Louis could smell the cherry coke on her breath, and couldn’t help but file away a line for a song about a cherry flavored girl in roller skates. 

“Of course,” Louis replied, while savoring the excuse to lean in. 

“Liam doesn’t roller skate. She doesn’t even usually come here that much. She said we were coming here so she could ‘show me around’ but really I’m pretty sure she was hoping to see Zayn.” Harry couldn’t help but giggle through the admission. She had this habit of laughing her way through conversations, just tickled to be conversing. She already spoke slowly, and her mid-sentence giggles slowed her down even more, but Louis couldn’t help but be charmed. 

Louis sent a wicked grin back at Harry and whispered, “This is the first time Zayn or I have been to a Friday night at the rink since, maybe, seventh grade. Zayn wanted to come tonight because he wanted to see Liam.” It felt like a private confession, leaning over a large cherry coke, surrounded by the flowery smell of Harry’s curtain of curly hair. 

The girls laughed over their friends’ predictability and obviousness, but soon conversation tapered off. Harry caught Louis’ eye and held it for a beat before finally turning towards the exit. 

“Well, I gotta motor soon. Curfew,” Harry broke the silence, “and Liam is my ride, so I guess I’ll have to interrupt the love fest.”

Louis was struck with such intense regret that she didn’t drive her own junker of a car to stupid roller rink that night, she almost felt faint with it. The idea of offering to drive Harry home, sitting close to her, smelling the cherry-flower sweetness of her clinging to the upholstery, made Louis sweat. Then she pictured how out of place Harry’s long, pale legs would look among the cassettes and fast food wrappers and decided it was for the best.

“Yeah, I get it,” Louis replied, trying to play it cool. “I’ll get Zayn's attention.” 

She wadded up a napkin and threw it at her friend. It beamed him right in the side of the head, and Louis was momentarily thankful that she didn’t miss in front of the pretty girl. She gave Zayn a look and nodded towards the door, indicating it was time to go and he should say his goodbyes. She grew a little colder when she remembered that meant she, too, would have to say goodbye to Harry.

She looked back at her and they were caught in another little bubble of silence. Something about this girl had the power to make Louis shout to the rooftops to hold her attention, but also to make Louis throat dry up in a way that literally prevented her from saying anything. Suddenly, Harry burst the bubble.

“I’m really happy we met,” she blurted. Her ears turned a little pink and she ducked her chin. “Like, I’m gonna need new friends, y’know? And you seem, like, cool, or whatever. Not that we have to be friends. If you don’t want. I know I’m just Liam’s friend who’s new. But like, if you _did_ want to be friends. That would be, um, rad.” 

Louis felt nearly split in half. She was absolutely, over the moon, through the roof, _thrilled_ that this girl wanted to spend time with her, to be _friends_ with her. But. She could also feel a restlessness in the soles of her feet reminding her not to be too excited, _too_ affectionate, _too much._

Instead of saying any of this out loud she went with, “Yeah! Yeah, friends. If you wanted we could be friends. I sit outside on the patio during lunch. With Zayn. So, obviously no pressure, but if you and Liam wanted to like, stop by or whatever, that’d be bitchin’.” It struck her immediately how she hadn’t really _agreed_ to be someone's friend since, like, first grade. She felt like a nerd, so obviously leaping at Harry’s offer. Later she would let herself revel in the private hope that maybe she heard nervousness in Harry’s voice too.

Finally, Zayn and Liam were finished with their goodbyes, and the two groups went their two separate ways. Zayn sat dreamily in the driver's seat of the car, and Louis allowed herself to join him in his trance. And she thought to herself how she would probably wake up the next morning feeling panicky and nervous about scaring off her new friend, but just then, she dug out Zayn’s Queen tape, cranked the volume, and rolled the windows down, thinking of snorting laughter and red lips.

~~~

The following Monday Louis felt like she was under a spotlight, sweating and exposed. As Zayn continued to drone on about Liam's hair and Liam’s art and Liam’s fingernail polish, she felt herself repeatedly looking over her shoulder, gaze searching for bright green eyes, curly brown hair, long toned legs. It was only first period, so it was no surprise that Louis hadn’t actually seen Harry yet, but she felt jumpy anyway. 

Louis had spent the whole weekend tucked away in her room, scribbling endlessly in her journal. The pages of yet another black and white composition notebook were now nearly filled with random lyrics about the curve of a girls neck, drawn out odes to roller rinks and the word rad, angsty soliloquies about the agony of waiting to see someone again when all you’ve done is think of them. 

If Louis was being honest with herself, this wasn’t necessarily out of character. In the privacy of her room, Louis had spent countless hours waiting and wondering about the person she would love one day. If Louis was really being honest with herself, she knew early on that that person would be a girl. It wasn’t until later until she realized that the girl probably wouldn’t love her back. So, it wasn’t uncommon for Louis to sit in her room and think about other girls, the way their stomachs were soft in that place between their bellybuttons and the waistband of their skirts. The way their chests moved when they laughed at something she said. The way stray glitter found its way under their eyes, begging for someone to brush it carefully away. What was uncommon was that this longing and pining wouldn’t leave her. It followed her out of the warm safety of her bedroom, it nagged her while she dressed herself, and by the time she was at school, she was nearly ready to pull out her own hair. Her everyday shield of faded flannel and stiff denim and bored eyes was failing her where it never had before.

So, Louis walked quickly from class to class, heart thudding in her ears at the start of each period as she waited for a possible new student to appear at the door. But, by the time lunch rolled around, she had nearly convinced herself that Friday night was a dream. A mirage conjured up by the weed she had smoked and the fact that her best friend seemed to have found his preppy soulmate. She was certain that if Harry was real, if she was actually a new student in Louis’ school, Louis would have seen her by now. Louis would have noticed the pink, heart-shaped lights that surely followed her everywhere by now at least. But it became evident that Louis' skills of pretty-girl-detection were in question as Harry loped into the lunchroom. 

Louis had a perfect view of Harry’s denim overalls, the brightly colored striped top underneath. Through the window between the lunchroom and the patio, Louis could even see the way Harry’s curls bounced as she walked, secured by a bright scrunchie. Harry looked unlike any other girl in the entire school, but she didn’t seem insecure at all. Instead, she walked confidently over to a table full of ruthless zombies and Liam and placed her tray down. The girls scanned Harry’s outfit in a way that Louis had never seen before. Of course the judgement and disdain Louis was accustomed to, but the envy? It was clear that Louis wasn’t the only one that noticed how Harry glowed. 

Harry ignored the tension around her and seemingly introduced herself to the rest of the table. Liam gave her a small smile, but quickly returned to the textbook in front of her, and Harry was left to fend for herself. As much as Louis tried to avoid staring through the dirty glass, she couldn’t help it. She rested her face on her fist and choked down her dry peanut butter sandwich, pretending not to watch Harry charm everyone at her lunch tale while simultaneously tuning in and out of Zayn’s continuing monologue.

“What are you staring at bro?” Zayn interrupted her reverie. He spun around to follow Louis' line of sight until he realized what table she was so focused on. He sighed.

“Listen, I know you’re not their biggest fan. I’m not either, but Liam is really different. You now she only sits with them out of habit, she barely even talks to them anyway,” Zayn insisted, tone turning a hint whiny as he tried to convince Louis of Liam’s worthiness. Louis felt relief fill her lungs and tried her best to roll with the punches.

“I know, Zayn. They’re just so lame. But, Liam seems fine. Nice even! I’m not mad,” Louis assured him, pointedly not correcting him. Louis knew Liam wasn’t like the girls who picked on her in middle school, the ones who ignored her and Zayn and their friends at every opportunity. Louis could tell that Liam _was_ different, which gave her hope. Hope for her and Zayn, and hope that Harry would be different too. 

After her near exposure, Louis did a slightly better job of focusing on the people around her instead of watching like a stalker as Harry charmed the whole school. As the end of lunch approached, Louis almost felt like congratulating herself on her restraint. She was so busy with this train of thought that she didn’t notice when Zayn went quiet. She registered that something was off when the rest of the people around the patio quieted down too, but it wasn't until Harry and Liam were standing there, in their neon and pastel glory, that Louis realized they had even left their own lunch table. 

The two girls, colorful and clean, stood out among the mixed bag of students who found their place away from the noise of the cafeteria. Zayn and Louis stared up at them from the cement stairs, still not certain that they were even there to talk to them.

“Hi Zayn!” Liam chirped, taking a step closer to them. “Would you want to walk to art together?”

Zayn couldn’t collect his garbage and near empty backpack fast enough. As he agreed and scrambled to brush the dirt off his pants, Louis secured her title as Best Friend by giving his face and clothes a quick once over (she confirmed that he was flirty-walk-to-art-class-ready) and pointedly not mentioning that there were nearly ten minutes of lunch left, which was at least double the time it would take the pair to make their way down the stairs and to the art room. 

Louis watched the couple retreat inside before finally steeling herself and turning towards Harry. Despite the angst and the nerves that had plagued her all weekend, she couldn't help but smile when she met Harry’s eyes.  
  


“Hey, overalls. Did you want to sit?” Louis attempted at a friendly joke before immediately wishing she hadn’t said anything. Would Harry think she was making fun? Or worse, was it weird for her to even mention Harry’s outfit? Was _she_ weird for noticing? Logically, Louis knew that girls made comments about each other’s outfits all the time, but she was somewhat out of practice. Not to mention that she felt markedly different from most of the girls at school. But before she could spiral out of control with worry, she was met with a giggle. Harry’s legs seemed less graceful and more gangly as she folded them into what somewhat resemble criss cross-apple sauce. It was endlessly frustrating how this only made Louis like her more.

“So, how has your first day been? You seemed to be getting on with everyone inside,” Louis ventured, absolutely thrilled and terrified to once again hold Harry’s full attention. 

“Oh, you saw that in there?” Harry began, furrowing her eyebrows. “Yeah, Liam’s brill and I love her to death, but her friends are- I don’t know”. Louis cringed at how she all but told Harry that she’d been staring at her for the past thirty five minutes. She prodded to change the subject.

“They’re…?” She encouraged. Harry twisted her lips into a thoughtful expression and rolled her eyes skyward before scooting towards Louis and beckoning her closer. Louis inched as close as she dared. 

Harry whispered, “Liam’s friends are… kinda boring. And mean.” Louis felt lightheaded from the secret sharing and the way that Harry’s breath smelt like juicy fruit gum and the way Louis couldn’t _sit still_ when Harry was this close to her. It wasn’t until she took all this in that she realized what Harry had said and a loud laugh fell from her lips. She reached to cover her wide grin with the back of her hand as a matching smile grew on Harry’s face.

“Don’t laugh!” She said through her own giggles. “I’m being serious!” Her eyes were wide and her hand pushed Louis shoulder playfully, enough to make her sway. The sun was still bright this early in autumn, and Louis made a note to thank whoever was responsible for warm fall days when Harry’s soft hand made contact with Louis’ bare shoulder. Louis was sitting on the torn denim shirt she had layered over her tank top, and was surprised that there wasn’t a burn where Harry’s bare skin touched her own.

“Yes welcome to America where the sky is blue and Liam’s friends are boring and kinda mean, did you know water is wet?” Louis cheeks were pink from the contact and her wit made an appearance to try and save face. Harry gasped, but there was still laughter in her eyes.

“Hey! I’m still new. I didn’t know all the cool kids sat outside at lunch, until I saw you and Zayn out here,” She defended, and Louis gave her a look.

“Right, spend another day with Liam’s friends and you’ll get a different impression about how cool we are out here,” Louis snorted and began picking up the trash from her packed lunch.  
  


“Seems pretty cool out here to me,” Harry replied a little quieter as she helped Louis clean up before the bell was set to ring. Her eyes were cast down and Louis could tell that Harry was trying to cover up the discomfort she felt around the cold group inside. She was still new, but Louis knew some of these people since middle school. She knew how they strived to stomp out difference and the thought of Harry’s light dimming at all made Louis feel awful, even though they had only just met. And Louis just couldn’t help herself. The voice that had been reminding her, _don’t touch Harry, don’t sit too close to Harry, don’t stare at Harry_ is drowned out by her intense instinct to protect, protect, protect. 

“Ok, you caught us. The secret cool kids sit outside to eat lunch. But I have good news,” Louis started, trying to keep her tone friendly and light. “We’ve decided you seem pretty cool too, so, like, if you ever get burned out by the yacht party over there, you know where to find us.”

It was nearly impossible for Louis to disguise how much she wanted Harry to visit them during lunch. She could feel the hope aching to burst out of her chest, but she kept it from seeping into her voice. “If you wanted to, I mean,” she added for good measure, scratching the back of her neck.

“You mean, like, sit out here with you? Or, I mean like, you and Zayn and everyone, obviously.” Harry’s eyes lit up and her cheeks flushed with excitement. Louis felt relief rush through her. Harry was obviously pleased by her offer, probably just happy to make new friends in a new school. In the back of Louis’ mind, it was impossible to ignore the nagging thoughts. Louis couldn’t imagine a world where someone like Harry would come into her school, already friends with Liam Payne, and sit with Louis and the rest of the freaks at lunch, at least not once she realized how things worked.

So maybe Harry would visit Louis for the next few days during lunch and make sure she still has a friend. Or maybe she’d even sit with them for the whole period tomorrow. It would be nice and Louis would be good, not creepy. And then Harry would realize how effortlessly she could fit with the rest of Liam’s friends, and Louis won’t have to worry about embarrassing herself in front of Harry any further. 

~~~

It was three weeks later when Louis finally realized she was not as good at predicting the future as she thought she was. Harry had sheepishly pushed through the school doors her second day at school, spent a few seconds seeking out Louis and Zayn, and zeroed in on them, joining them on the ground to eat from her paper bag. Neither Zayn or Louis could contain their shock, but Harry seemed completely oblivious, happily popping grapes into her mouth. Zayn didn’t have much room to complain when Harry’s presence drew Liam outside after she had finished with her student government meeting. The real shock came when she continued this pattern every day after that.

Harry and Louis had known each other for four Fridays when Louis found herself packing an extra packet of pop rocks that she stole from her brothers’ stash in her lunch. She didn’t like grape, she justified, surely someone would eat it at lunch. But when lunchtime came around and Louis bashfully offered the packet straight to Harry, the look Zayn gave her told her she was perhaps less than subtle. His confused eyes said ‘you never bring me snacks, what the hell is going on?’ and Louis felt panicked that she had been caught, that her weird fascination with the new pretty girl had been discovered, but then Zayn shrugged and turned his attention to Liam, and Harry dumped the full packet in her mouth before moving dangerously close to Louis’ ear.

“Hear ‘em popping, Lou?” she babbled with her mouth partially open. And Louis forgot every worry she had just for a second as Harry’s purple stained tongue called her Lou. And it really wasn’t possible, anymore, for Louis to hide just how much she’d be willing to do to put that silly smile on Harry’s face.

And Harry just. Kept eating lunch with them. She followed them inside when September turned to October and the Wisconsin weather forced them out of the elements. She huddled around the dusty table in the art room with Louis and Zayn and a couple of their friends, sometimes joined by Liam when she wasn’t busy taking over the world. It wasn't like she needed them or only hung out with them when no one would see, either. Everyday, Louis watched, mystified, as Harry came in and said hello to all of the people she knew through Liam - the richer and more popular kids all as charmed by Harry as Louis was. She watched as Harry walked past all of those people and found her. She felt a sense of dread in the back of her mind; she began to realize that she didn’t just clam up around Harry because she was pretty. She wasn't so fascinated with her because she was new and interesting and gorgeous. She spent each day watching Harry help a middle schooler pick up the books they dropped, or laugh so loudly that the entire room looked to her and then snorted after for good measure, or complimented the lunch lady on her haircut and took the time to talk to her, no mind to the line behind her. She spent each day getting closer to Harry and seeing just how special she was, and that was absolutely terrifying.

~~~

It was one of those cold, rainy days that made every room feel damp when Harry stormed into the art room, backpack hanging off of one shoulder. 

“Liam, come on, this rain isn’t gonna let up. _Please_ give me a ride home, I'll owe you!” Harry whined and Louis coughed a little. Liam looked determined, and if Louis had learned one thing about Liam in Zayn’s desperate courtship, it was that Liam was a tough cookie. And if she made up her mind, she rarely changed it. 

“I’m really sorry, Harry. I have to stay late to work on an art project and I’m not sure when I’ll be done,” Liam sighed, clearly not that upset. She looked at Zayn in a way that she probably thought was inconspicuous, but wasn’t. 

“Liammmmm,” Harry whined, even higher and more exaggeratedly. Luckily for Harry, Louis knew that there was no hope. When it came to Harry’s demands, Louis was a much easier sell than Liam was. 

“Hey, Harry, I could give you a ride home if you wanted,” Louis offered, trying to play it cool. In all honesty, she knew that if Harry asked her to carry her home piggyback through the mud, Louis would invite her to hop on in a heartbeat. But the point was to keep everyone else from knowing that, so, she tried anyway.

It was hard to do that when Harry squealed a little and threw her arms around Louis' neck in a loose hug. Louis had no idea what to do with her own arms, but luckily, she didn’t have much time to ponder it before Harry drew back.

“Sorry! Uh, sorry. That would be stellar. I really thought I’d be walking home from my stop in the rain today,” Harry muttered. Louis couldn't force herself to look Harry directly in the eye as she tried to even out her breaths. _Calm down Louis. Friends hug each other. Get it together._

“Yeah, it's no problem,” Louis said, pretending to be fascinated by the rain outside the window and giving Harry a quick glance. “She’s a red civic, you'll know her by her dents. The lock on the passenger side is broke anyway, so you can let yourself in and I’ll meet you there after school?”

“Thanks times a million Lou, you’re a lifesaver,” Harry smiled at her, and Louis never felt so lucky in her entire life. 

That lucky feeling morphed into something ugly as anxiety rose in Louis' chest. As the day went on, Louis felt her elation slip away as every possible way things could go wrong popped into her head. _What if she crashed? What if she got pulled over? What if Harry took one look at her junker car and decided she'd rather walk home in the pouring rain?_

By the end of the day Louis' hands were shaking slightly as she pulled her books out from her locker. When she had collected everything she needed, she took a deep breath and centered herself,walking towards the student lot. In the end, it was raining out and Harry just needed a ride. No big deal. Louis would just get in the car and they would talk and she would drive her home. They talk at lunch everyday, how would this be different?

If Louis almost felt somewhat better by the time she reached her car, it all went out the window when she focused on Harry. There she was, in Louis' passenger seat, her button up shirt wet from the heavy rain she faced between the building and the car. She was breathing heavily when Louis opened the door, like she had been running. 

Where Louis was sure her walk through the rain made her look like something pulled out of the shower drain, Harry looked as beautiful as ever. Her hair curled crazily around her face and the whole car smelled like the lotion she wore. Louis decided the best course of action would be to avoid looking at her and remain casual. Friends didn’t notice when friends shirts were wet and sheer and Louis felt physically sick at the thought of making Harry uncomfortable by gawking. 

“Hey,” Harry sighed between breaths. “I had to run and I’m still soaked! The rain is crazy!” her eyes were wide but she was grinning, like the idea of an autumn storm was as exciting as it could get. “I hope there is going to be lightning!”

“Yeah, crazy.” Louis responded, keeping it short. “So where am I taking ya?” 

Harry recited her address and Louis made note that it was on the nicer side of town. It would be at least a twenty minute drive, which Louis was sure was fifteen minutes too long if she was hoping not to embarrass herself, but she shifted into reverse and pulled out anyway.

As they drove, Louis was able to loosen up a little. Harry had a habit of talking a lot, and Louis had a habit of encouraging her so she could hang off of every word she said. It was a wretched habit for Louis' health, but that didn't stop her. So Louis cranked the heat and listened to Harry ramble on about the quiz she had taken in history and how she was convincing her mom to get a cat and the bird she had seen on the way to school that morning and Louis laughed and chimed in when it was appropriate, thrilled to just listen. Soon, conversation turned to the latest happenings at their school. Harry, despite being new, seemed to have insight on everything going on at school. It seemed that Louis wasn’t the only one immediately taken with her, and people had a habit of over sharing with her. She clearly didn’t mind as she filled Louis in on the ups and downs of the popular kids, never saying anything rude about anyone, but clearly thrilled by the gossip.

“I wouldn’t know anything about that, now would I?” Louis responded to one of Harry’s anecdotes, chuckling and turning on her blinker. Harry was quiet for a moment and Louis took her eyes off the road to look at her face.

“Yeah,” Harry responded, enthusiasm mostly gone from her voice. The quiet lingered and Harry shuffled her feet and fiddled with the radio. 

“You know I smoke. Weed.” Harry blurted out of nowhere. “And I used to go to clubs with my friends, in California. And I stole a stop sign once.” It was clear that Harry was upset - her chest was sort of puffed up and her cheeks were a little ruddy - and Louis was hopelessly confused.

“Ok…” she responded, unsure of exactly what kind of response Harry wanted. “Cool,” she decided on. Honestly, the things Harry had said were not necessarily all _that_ surprising. Of course Harry had done cool things before, she just _was_ cool. All of these things that Louis had also done before seemed so much more worldly and adventurous when Harry said them. Evidently, this was not the response Harry was looking for. 

“Well it's just that- just because I’m friends with Liam and I know stuff about her friends and I get along with people doesn't mean I'm not like, _cool_ or whatever. It doesn’t mean I’m boring, I do fun stuff just like you and Zayn and everyone,” Harry huffed and the pieces started to fall into place. 

Harry thought _Louis_ was cool? Sure, she had said it on the first day of school, but of course she would say that _to_ Louis. But here she was, red faced in Louis' passenger seat, trying to seem interesting enough to hang out with _Louis_. 

“What!?” Louis squawked. “You think I think you’re like- like _lame_ or something?” Louis scoffed, completely floored by the notion. “You think _I_ think _you_ are lame?”

“No! I never said that,” Harry mumbled, making it clear that that was exactly what she had been thinking. Louis couldn’t contain her laughter. It tumbled out of her and filled the car, and for a moment Harry looked madder than Louis had ever seen her. And Louis felt her resolve slip a little, her self deprecation and desire to show Harry just how amazing she was teaming up to fight her insecurity.

“Harry. I will only say this once. You are, without a doubt, _the_ coolest, raddest, least lame person in this entire town. Anyone who thinks otherwise is infinitely less interesting than you will ever be. And it's not because of any of the things you said. You just _are_ . So. Ya know.” Louis felt herself lose momentum as the sincerity of her words started to get away from her. Once again, her sense of self preservation had flown out the window at the first chance she had to boost Harry’s ego. And as worried she was that she was showing her hand too soon, being _too much,_ she also realized that it was worth it to make Harry see herself the way that Louis saw her. Still, she clammed up once her little speech was through, not sure where to go from there. She risked a quick glance to her right and was rewarded with the widest, thousand-watt, bunny-toothed grin she had ever seen.

“Thanks, Lou,” Harry responded, her voice quiet but still echoing through the car even over the pounding of the rain on the roof. 

“Yeah, course,” Louis clipped back, and the car fell into a somewhat awkward silence. Louis took the opportunity to take inventory of what had just happened. No matter how much Louis cringed at her tirade about the awesomeness of one Harry Styles, she couldn’t feel that bad about it. For a second, the voice inside her head was quiet because she could tell she had made Harry feel better. 

Louis had little evidence that Harry had ever been insecure about a thing in her entire life. When she tripped in the hallway, she giggled and gathered her papers gracefully. When she answered incorrectly in class, she just nodded and smiled, taking in the correct answer without embarrassment. She had weathered weeks of having the entire school's eyes on her, but she was worried about impressing Louis and her loser friends. It was flattering, but Louis was happy to prove to Harry that she shouldn’t worry about impressing anyone.

Finally, Louis broke the silence. “Um, when you mentioned that you smoke… you mean like, regularly? Or-” Louis stumbled through her words. 

“When I can, yeah. It was easier to find back at home,” Harry responded, clearly relieved at something to break the tension in the car. 

“Right. So, and feel free to say no! But like, we could. Smoke now, if you wanted to,” Louis finally managed to get out. She had never been good at all of the unspoken etiquette around smoking. Her and Zayn got high in their basements and garages enough that she considered herself somewhat of an expert, but she was always afraid to say the wrong thing when she smoked with anyone else. She could feel how awkward her offer was, hanging there in the air, and wished she hadn’t bothered, until she ventured a look at Harry. She was grinning.

~~~

[ _Beast of Burden - The Rolling Stones_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RlV-ZFyVH3c)

They were parked in the corner of the parking of some playground in the back of some subdivision. The sky had opened up again, so the park was abandoned, no one around to notice a shitty car with fogged up windows. Harry’s eyelids sagged and the whites of her eyes were pinkish, only making the green of them stand out. Louis couldn’t help but stare at her as she wrapped her lips around the joint and inhaled, eyelids fluttering.The air around them was heavy, as the insistent rain prevented them from more than cracking their window. Louis could feel her arms growing heavy as the weed started to take effect, but it did nothing to dull how beautiful Harry was. There as the rain crashed around them and the sky grew darker, but the inside of Louis’ Civic was warm as the heat blasted, and Harry was less than a foot away.

“I love this song," Harry mumbled, smiling. As Harry had gotten higher, more and more of her sentences ended in giggles and smiles. She bopped her head to the guitar playing from the tape deck with her eyes closed and Louis took a moment to look at her, unobserved. Her hair was drying wildly, but her clothes were still a little wet, which caused her to shake a bit.

The pot had taken the liberty of giving Louis self-preservation the evening off and she was really starting to feel the effects. She couldn’t peel her tired eyes from Harry. Either she was staring at Harry's red lips as she rambled about something, or she was scanning the line of Harry’s legs, which were folded underneath her in her seat, or she was simply taking in Harry’s presence with one hundred percent focus. It had also loosened her filter.

“I knew you would,” Louis sighed back, returning Harry’s smile. It takes her a few extra moments to realize just exactly how creepy that sounded, but the process is hastened as she sees Harry’s eyebrows furrow. 

“What do you mean?” she inquired, attention fully on Louis. Louis felt her head spin but couldn’t come up with anything but the truth, so she let it spill.

“Oh, just, um. When we met, at the roller rink, I’m not sure if you remember, but you were wearing a Rolling Stones t-shirt. And I just thought that this would be a song you would like by them, I guess,” Louis bumbled through her explanation clumsily and was rewarded with yet another one of Harry’s sweet giggles.

“You’re just so clever, Lou.” Harry insisted, “always so per-cep-tive,” she stumbled slightly on the syllables, but did not seem weirded out. She just extended her hand, joint between her elegant fingers, nails painted bright red, to Louis. She let out an exhale and accepted it, taking a slow drag. 

“But yeah, this song though, it's a great one,” Louis agreed somewhat sheepishly after exhaling. She could feel the compliments that flowed so freely from Harry’s lips turning her boastful, but she couldn’t help it. “I actually know how to play it on guitar." Harry’s head whipped to face Louis, and Louis could feel that certain pride welling up in her chest.

“Really?” Harry all but squealed. “That’s _so_ majorly cool, Lou,” she insisted, and Louis' cheeks went pink as her head continued to grow. “You absolutely have to play for me sometime. No more excuses.”

Harry leaned closer over the center console and poked Louis cheek, giggling and all Louis could smell was cherry chap stick and sweet perfume and if she wasn’t already high, being that close to Harry would have done it on its own. Her head swam and she got that tug in her gut to _impress_ the pretty girl, _show off_ for the beautiful new girl and _hope_ it's enough to make her stick around without looking too closely. So she opened her fat mouth again.

“Friday night Zayn and I and a couple other guys were gonna like, jam or whatever I guess,” She began, hesitantly. As she looked at Harry’s soft button up shirt, her expensive leather loafers, she almost lost her nerve, but then she met Harry’s hopeful eyes.

“Oh. That sounds cool. I bet that’s a fun time,” Harry hedged, trying and failing at subtlety. 

“You probably already have plans and stuff, and it's just like a bunch of people in someones garage, but if you wanted to come or stop by or whatever, that would be cool, I guess.” Louis finally managed to spit the invitation out and raise her eyes to meet Harry’s. Of course, Harry’s smile was shining so brightly Louis could almost swear she could feel the rays of warmth on her face.

“Totally! I mean, for sure. I could even bring Liam! Like- y'know, if she knows I’m hanging out in Zayn’s vicinity without her, she’ll have a cow.” Again Harry finished her sentence with a giggle, but Louis barely noticed as she rode the feeling of Harry accepting her invitation. Louis knew that later on, she wouldn’t feel the undiluted happiness she did then. Soon, the anxieties and worries and fears would creep in, but in that moment, all she could feel was lightness.

Silence fell again and the tape deck clicked to the next song. Louis took another hit and looked to Harry, noticing that she was shivering. Louis passed the joint, communicating that Harry should go ahead and finish it herself. She ripped her eyes away from the way Harry's cheeks hollowed and shuffled around in the back seat of the car. She came up with exactly what she was looking for, a medium wash denim jacket. 

“You- look cold,” Louis kind of pointed out before shoving the ball of fabric over the center console. Harry looked at her like she had two heads for a moment, and it was almost enough time for Louis to retreat completely, but then her face softened.

“Thanks, Lou,” she spoke quietly as she reached for the jacket and put it on. She sort of settled down into the over sized fabric and sighed, and Louis melted. But before she had time to stick her foot in her mouth, she decided to cut her losses. 

“I’ve gotta head home soon,” she hedged, not even reaching for the ignition.

“Yeah. Me too,” Harry agreed, voice low. For some reason they were whispering and Louis didn’t know why, but it made her heart race. Music played softly from the radio and the rain continued to fall and Louis could have sworn Harry’s face was getting closer to hers with each passing second and she couldn’t make sense of everything until thunder boomed loudly and lightning lit up the dark sky. Harry jumped back and yelped a bit, clearly startled. Louis forced out a loud laugh and wiped her hands on her already wet jeans. Harry smiled bashfully and Louis and her shared one more look before she started the car.

When they finally reached Harry’s house, Louis felt sluggish and happy. She turned her hooded eyes to Harry and they shared a quick smile.

“Thanks for driving me home. And the grass,” She giggled and so did Louis at her word choice. It sounded like something Louis mom would have said. 

“Anytime. For both,” She insisted and held Harry’s eye.

As Harry began shifting to take off Louis' coat, she stopped her. “Keep it. You can return it later,” Louis told her.

“Are you sure? I can return it tomorrow then, at school,” Harry said, eyes wide with concern.

“Yeah, or you could return it on Friday?” Louis scratched the back of her neck. Harry’s agreement to come see Louis play already felt like a distant memory and Louis was too used to girls breaking their promises. Harry rewarded her with a small, private smile.

“Totally. Friday. Perfect,” She said before darting across the center console and wrapping Louis in a quick, tight hug. Louis' arms hung by her side for what felt like years as she was wrapped up in Harry’s long arms. Soft curls brushed her nose and the rough denim of _her_ jacket rubbed on her bare skin and before she could react it was over. “Thanks, Lou. For everything. I don’t know what I would have done without you, coming to this school new. I’m thankful to have met you.”

And it’s all too earnest. _Too_ genuine, for Louis to handle. But she smiles at her and allows the kind words to soothe her skin like a salve, to sink into the cracks between her ribs and hold her up for a while. No matter what happened, she was _important_ to Harry. And that felt really good.

Harry dashed out of the car without waiting for Louis' response, which was for the best as Louis couldn’t even gather enough focus to start the car for the next several minutes. But finally, she regained feeling in her arms and turned the ignition. As she backed up she saw a light flick on in a room upstairs, watched Harry’s silhouette start bopping to a song she must have put on. She couldn't wipe the grin off of her face as she drove home, ensconced in the smell of flowery perfume and weed.

~~~

By Thursday, Louis could feel herself growing reckless. She had no business denying that she was in love with Harry anymore, and she simply couldn’t convince herself otherwise. School continued on as normal, and Louis continued to try to keep her head above the sea of all encompassing love for Harry, but it was so hard. Harry was kind and gentle, Louis watched her treat younger students, teachers, and staff at school with such respect and friendliness, she couldn't help but pine. Harry was funny and goofy. Louis couldn't keep a smile off of her face as Harry danced and wiggled and told terrible jokes from her place on the asphalt at lunch each day. Harry was everything, but Louis was surviving.

At least she was until Harry took to wearing that over sized, weed scented, patch-pin-and-hole-riddled denim jacket over each of her breathtaking outfits for the rest of the week. No matter what effortlessly flowy skirt or vintage blouse or colorful dress Harry was wearing, the denim jacket hung off of her shoulders, protecting her from the late November chill. And every time it took Louis breath away.

Zayn and Liam were perpetually in their own world, just a short while away from becoming a couple, but that didn’t make Zayn any less perceptive. Louis had been worried about her best friend noticing how she was acting since Harry arrived, but now she was sure her days of secrecy were limited. Louis had _never_ felt this way before, and she could tell Zayn was catching on to something. She saw the way his eyes followed Harry as she came to school in a Louis jacket the first morning after the car ride turned smoke sesh. She felt him notice when she laughed extra loudly at a lame joke Harry giggled her way through.

This was almost enough to dull the elation Louis felt when Harry showed up on Friday wearing the jacket yet again, but she felt relatively confident that if she could keep herself somewhat in check, that Zayn wouldn’t bring it up.

In the car on the way home from school on Friday, it became clear that she had overestimated her friends’ willingness to live and let live. 

“So, I invited Liam tonight and she told me she and Harry were already coming,” Zayn began. Zayn was generally very quiet. He didn’t often share his opinion in class or with people who he didn’t trust, but it didn’t mean he wasn’t watching. He was always observing, taking in the world with an artist’s eye and not missing a single detail. Louis knew this about him, and wondered why she thought she’d get away with hiding this thing anyway. Her palms began to sweat.

“Right. I invited them,” Louis chirped back, eyes on the road. It would be best to keep things as short and sweet as possible. Louis had a habit of rambling and revealing her cards, foil to Zayn’s worldly ability to keep things to himself. 

“Yeah, cool. I know Harry has been wanting to hear you play,” Zayn nodded, zen. “I noticed Harry was wearing your favorite jacket all week."

Now Louis could feel her stomach start to tighten up and the hair on her arms stood on end. Louis loved Zayn, probably as much as she loved her mom, her brothers. And truly, she trusted him. He had stood up for her time and time again. But she was terrified. She could feel in her bones that Zayn knew even more than he was letting on and that put her on edge. She had heard what people said about people like her. What happened to people like her. And it made her hands shake because no matter how much she loved Zayn, how much she trusted him and depended on him, she had no clue how he would react.

They finally pulled into Zayn’s driveway and Louis' hands were shaking and her breathing was quick. Her heart told her it would be fine, Zayn would never do something to hurt her. But her brain was coming up with the fastest way to escape. As her eyes darted from the keys to the unlocked door to Zayn’s house, she heard him take a deep breath.

“Lou,” he said in a soft voice, “it’s ok.” 

And before Louis knew it a hot tear ran down her cheek. She pawed at it and shook her head and Zayn chuckled softly. He reached a strong arm around her shoulder and tugged her head down into his chest in a brotherly hug. The center console dug into Louis’ side, but she couldn’t even feel it. All she felt was love and acceptance and all of these bubbling, floating, sparkling feelings that she had _never_ felt before. Never even dreamed of feeling.

“You know…” Zayn mumbled after a few moments of silence, “I think she likes you back”

Louis shot up straight and took inventory of his face.

“Yeah, right,” Louis grumbled. She could tick the reasons that she was sure of this off on her fingers, but the place where her feelings for Harry lived was achy and raw. She felt like she had just been split open for the world to see, and to list her insecurities out loud to prove Zayn wrong didn’t sound ideal. But that didn’t make her any less sure that he was having her on.

“I’m serious, Lou. If you were a guy, you’d already be her boyfriend by now,” Zayn pushed, and Louis just shook her head tightly. She didn’t want to cry again. 

Zayn saw this and knew enough about his best friend to know she wanted to be alone. He leaned across and messed up Louis’ hair.

“Just- I love you, ok? And we don’t need to talk about it and it's awkward and that's fine. Just remember it. I’ll see you tonight,” he bid his farewell and Louis watched his frame retreat. She couldn't help but feel full because even though she was sure in her heart of hearts that Harry would never feel the same way that she did, she still had her. She had Harry, a really great friend, and she had Zayn, the best brother she could ask for (apart from her four little gremlins at home). She even had Liam, who was pushy and uptight but also fun and smart and much more than Louis ever would have given her much credit for. These people found her and even though she was weird and too much and… Gay. She had them. 

~~~

As was expected, Louis was shitting by the time dinner was over. She fidgeted her way through meatloaf and mashed potatoes while her brothers blabbed over top of one another. She showered and combed her hair, but decided that looked too intentional, and had to spend nearly thirty minutes artfully messing it back up. By the time Zayn picked her up, Louis was a complete mess, but also couldn’t keep the smile off of her face at the prospect of spending the evening with Harry.

The drive to the house they were meeting at was quiet and short. A friend of theirs had a basement that his parents let them use to jam and hang out in, and he only lived down the road from Louis’ house. When they parked on the street and made their way towards the door, Louis fiddled with her hair with the hand not holding her guitar case.

“You look great, Louis,'' Zayn managed to say in the Zayn way that communicated his true deep meaning without requiring a response. Louis was endlessly thankful for that. They made their way inside and greeted everyone who was already there. These nights were pretty relaxed and open invite, but Louis recognized most of the people there from school or other parties. She placed herself down on the sofa and started chatting with a few guys from another school and even relaxed enough to scarf down a piece of pizza, but then Harry and Liam arrived.

Zayn was by Liam’s side as soon as they appeared in the entrance to the basement, and Harry made a bee-line for Louis as soon as she spotted her. Harry was wearing a short red skirt and the same white rolling stones tee she had been wearing when Louis first saw her. Over top, of course, was Louis' jacket. The whole outfit made Louis' mouth go dry as her eyes scanned the long line of Harry’s bare legs, rested for a moment in the dip of her waist.

Quickly, though, she stood up from her place and offered Harry her seat, introducing her to the people sitting nearby. She didn’t necessarily fit in with this crowd, but no one seemed to bat an eye at her appearance, and Louis breathed a sigh of relief as a guy and his girlfriend - both of whom wore jeans that were more holes than fabric - started a conversation with Harry about how she kind of looked like Mick Jagger, if he were a hot chick of course. Harry blushed and giggled and Louis grinned.

Soon enough, the pizza was gone and the quiet hum of many musicians in one room started to raise in volume. People began plugging in amps and taking turns on different instruments. Countless people had brought guitars, electric and acoustic, and the host had a drum set and mic already set up. Some people sat and strummed from their place on the couch or floor while others commanded the whole room and recruited other musicians to help with an impromptu concert. 

As laughter and music rang throughout the room, Louis found herself pushed up against Harry on the couch, all other space taken. Harry’s breath was sweet as she whispered to Louis under the loud music. She was constantly commenting, complimenting each musician, letting out a happy hum when she recognized a song, asking Louis for a title when she doesn't. Eventually she nudged her shoulder into Louis’

“As fun as this has been, I came here for a certain reason…” Harry started, jokingly. She trailed off and raised her eyebrows twice at Louis, cheesy and over the top in a way that Louis knew meant that she didn’t have to do anything she didn’t want to. Harry had layered in just enough sarcasm that Louis was confident she could play it off if she really wanted to, feign a sore throat or something, but she didn’t want to. Harry wanted to hear something from her and she had been working on a song all week and damn it she was going to play it. And maybe it would freak Harry out or maybe Harry wouldn’t even realize that she was who Louis was singing about or maybe a meteor would crash through the roof and kill them all, but no matter what, Louis was gonna try.

So Louis made eye contact with Zayn and he whispered in Liam’s ear before making his way over to the drum set. Louis got up from the couch on shaky feet, and Liam took her place, clearly excited to see Zayn play too. As Louis plugged her guitar into an amp, her hand shook and she forced herself to take a few deep breaths before turning around. A few people noticed who was getting ready to play and let out some whoops of excitement, bolstering Louis confidence just enough for her to begin.

[ _Just What I Needed - The Cars_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TB4gJ7shVD0)

The guitar lick came first and Louis had heard and practiced the repetitive sound so much that she could do it in her sleep. Still, her traitorous hands were a little shaky and she had to force her eyes up and out into the audience, if you could even call it that.

Harry watched with rapt attention, eyes locked on Louis. Her gaze followed Louis rapidly moving hands, finding its way back to her face. Louis had no idea how Harry was reacting, physically unable to make her eyes settle on the beautiful brunette on the couch. Still, she pushed herself to continue, finally opening her lips to sing.

As she sang the words she had been practicing, she felt like the heavy denim and flannel she armored herself with had turned to tissue paper. Like the thick skin she had developed had turned transparent. Each line of the song felt more and more obviously about Harry as she pushed on and she took a moment to consider why she had chosen such a painfully desperate song to serenade her with. She felt all the disgusting, mushy, private things she had thought about Harry tumble out of her mouth and fall into a puddle on the floor, but she kept going.

Louis hadn’t much considered why she chose this song to play except that the guitar was rather easy but still pretty impressive and Harry liked garage rock. But, she could only convince herself so long that she wasn’t singing about Harry, and as she crooned about perfume and hair ribbons, she became certain that she wasn’t convincing anyone else either Still, she continued to play. She could feel Zayn, steadfast and strong behind her, as dependable as the rhythm of a song. She could feel all of her friends looking at her, or chatting quietly among themselves, could feel their support. Most of all, she could _feel_ Harry looking at her, watching her. It was nearly impossible to ignore, her gaze making Louis feel embarrassed and bashful while somehow also making her feel like the most impressive rock god on planet earth. Finally, the chorus approached and Louis tipped up her chin, blue eyes seeking out green ones. Harry smiled a little, still clearly in awe, and Louis found the strength to crash into the chorus

*skip to 1:30 if you want* “I guess you’re just what I needed” Louis belted, making direct eye contact with Harry. She held it until he had to refocus on the guitar solo that came next. Finally, she relaxed fully and felt herself melt into it, closed her eyes and leaned into the mic to sing, danced around during instrumental breaks, even falling to her knees during the guitar solo. Her dramatics weren’t necessarily unheard of among the crowd, so they laughed and hooted and Harry just kept. Staring. 

Finally, the song was nearly over, and Louis' friends joined in to sing along, all laughing and smiling. It wasn’t necessarily the type of music they usually enjoyed, but everyone knew the words from the radio and the joy was palpable in the room. When she played the last chord, the basement applauded lightly, just as they had for all the other people who had played, but Harry’s claps were the loudest.

Louis packed away her guitar and attempted to kill some time before facing Harry, not feeling nearly as much a rock star as she had seconds earlier. She was proud that Harry had heard her, hoped she liked it, but she couldn’t help but be bashful.

“Louis. That. Was. Amazing!” Harry almost squealed, rushing up to her. “I can’t believe you never played for me before! And they were saying _I_ look like a rock star, meanwhile hear you are, a secret female Eric Clapton.” Harry was standing so close and nudged Louis’ shoulder. Louis couldn’t help but smile.

“Thanks, thanks. Playing some Car’s songs in some kids' basement doesn’t necessarily scream hard core rock star, but you’re sweet for saying so,” Louis hedged. The praise was uncomfortable, but still felt good to hear, especially from Harry. 

Harry shook her head at Louis’ brush off and continued to sing her praises. Everything from her guitar playing to her singing to her _stage presence_ was _amazing_ according to Harry. Louis knew Harry to be rather effusive, so she couldn’t allow herself to take any compliment too seriously, but she felt herself relax. 

Harry was still here. She didn’t laugh, or storm out, or politely excuse herself. Instead, she threw herself at Louis to drown her in compliments. And as much as Louis was so certain that nothing was ever going to happen between her and Harry, she let herself hope.

  
  


~~~

November turned to December and Louis felt her resolve melting as Harry became a beacon of warmth in the cold autumn air. Zayn and Liam had all but given up pretending to include the two girls in their conversation at lunch, extending invitations to their hangouts. And if you asked Louis, this was by design. The love birds needed the help, and forcing them to hang out alone was Louis’ way assisting the hands of fate, but Louis knew that she was clinging closer to Harry by the day and the presence of other people only got in the way.

Although Harry kept her connections with all of Liam’s old friends, she spent next to no time involving herself with the drama that kept their group afloat. Instead, she and Louis became a known duo. As much as it mystified so many of their peers, it was nearly impossible to find either of them without the other. Their heads were constantly ducked towards one another, giggling and shushing over something completely hysterical and when anyone asked, they quickly learned never to again. It was always something completely unfunny at best and intelligible at worst, wrapped in so many layers of inside jokes that it wouldn’t make sense to anyone but the two.

More often than not, Louis would follow Harry home, or vice versa. Harry had left her marks around the Tomlinson home, a pink sweater hanging in Louis’ disheveled closet, sparkly pens mixed into the junk drawer, an old Joni Mitchell record mixed in among The Stone Roses and The Ramones. 

And, in turn, Louis allowed herself to take up space in Harry’s life. Allowed herself to pour the affection she had kept buried deep inside for so long into someone who accepted it from her. She thought back to any friendship she had had with a girl in the past and how tense she always felt. How she had felt such genuine love before, friendly or otherwise, and smothered it so effectively. And each day, she felt that weight on her shoulders lift a little bit. Each time she scooted closer to Harry to peak at one of her magazines and stiffened, Harry leaned back into her and moved so she could read the page. Each time Louis laughed raucously at something Harry said, Harry just grinned, bashful and pleased, but never weirded out. Each time Louis played Harry a new song, showed her an old movie she loved, loaned her a soft sweater to wear, Harry smiled openly and accepted it. And Louis couldn’t tell if Harry _knew_ that she was seeing parts of Louis that were tender and raw, or if Harry’s hands were just that careful with everyone. 

It was only two weeks before winter break when Louis was poking through Harry’s room and pretending to hate the new Cyndi Lauper song that was playing on Harry’s boom box. All the shit pop music that Harry had mixed among her rock albums had been a point of discussion, but Louis had long ago admitted to herself that the pink-bubble-gum music had grown on her. 

Picking through Harry’s room was one of Louis’ favorite things to do because Harry was so open. She loved showing the world who she was, and would answer every little question and comment Louis had about the trinkets she had scattered about. (Louis steadfastly ignored the symbolism of her own cluttered pit of a bedroom which she guarded with her life in this scenario). And so Harry laid on her bed, or read a magazine, or did her makeup while Louis scavenged through the room for new pieces of Harry to marvel over.

That was why Louis was puzzled as she found a bag buried in the bottom of Harry’s closet. Harry noticed Louis' brief silence and turned from her mirror just a second too late as Louis excavated the bag and pawed through it.

“Ha! What is this?” Louis squawked at the soft t-shirt in her hands as Harry lept up to take it from her and tuck it back away. “Haz! Here I thought The Stones was as close to punk as you got. Blondie, though, huh?”

Harry’s cheeks were rosy and a heavy crease formed between her eyebrows as she tucked the bag back away and turned to fiddle with the things out on her vanity. Louis stiffened when she noticed Harry’s frown.

“Hey. Blondie is bitchin! I didn’t mean to make fun, I just was surprised to see it hidden away. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have snooped,” Louis tried to backtrack. As much as she had shown to Harry, she couldn’t help this lingering feeling that finally Louis would do something that was _too much_ and Harry would finally move on to find other friends. Now, seeing Harry’s stiff back turned towards her, Louis felt the icy chills take over again.

Harry huffed from across the room and whipped around. “Yeah, you shouldn’t have snooped,” She snapped. “And its not _for me.”_

Harry rolled her eyes as Louis fear morphed to confusions, clearly befuddled by how thick Louis could be. “It was _supposed_ to be for your birthday,” Harry finally explained, her expression something closer to embarrassment than anger. “I found it at a thrift shop down town and it reminded me of you and I had no clue what to get you but I figured a cool band with a girl lead who’s better than so many guys and stuff would be perfect for you, but I’ll find something else.”

Louis' brain took some time to catch up, taking in her expression and her words before registering exactly what Harry had said. “My _birthday?_ That’s weeks away!” It was nowhere near what she meant to say, but was instead what spilled out.

“Yeah, Lou. I _know_ when it is, thanks,” Harry grumbled and it was the push Louis needed. 

“H! I never meant to laugh at you, that’s a _great_ present. I’m just so surprised that you got me something, let alone so early. I promise I love it, and I’m so sorry for making you feel bad."

Harry’s face shifted almost right away, and immediately Louis felt more at ease as she recognized the shining smile she was used to.

“It’s ok, Lou. Sorry for biting your head off,” She said softly. “I wanted to pick out something good!” 

“It is good. That’s the best present I’ve ever gotten! And it was, uh, nice. What you said about her reminding you of me.” Louis felt her cheeks glow a little and she laughed. It made Harry laugh too and the tension finally broke. 

“Your birthday isn’t that long from now, by the way,” Harry argued, still a little embarrassed but smiling, “only, like two weeks. Oh, shit!” Harry lept from her place at her vanity to peer at her calendar. 

“Only _two weeks_ till Christmas, that means the dance is _next week_. I can’t believe I forgot,” Harry's right hand started tugging at one of her braids as she left Louis, confused on the bed. 

“What? You’re going to that?” Louis scoffed as she felt her chest puff up. She had no clue Harry was planning to go to the winter dance at all. Had someone asked her? _Who?_ Louis couldn’t help but spiral as she ticked through all of the guys they knew that would possibly ask Harry to the dance, and each option was worse than the last. _No one_ should ask Harry to the dance, besides Louis, but that wasn’t really an option.

Harry interrupted her flurry of thoughts as she began shuffling through her closet. “Uh, yeah, we’re going,” she snarked and Louis' ears picked up the word ‘we’ as if it were blasted through a loudspeaker.

“ _We?_ When did I agree to that?” Louis balked, internally already coming to terms with the fact that she would be doing whatever it took to make Harry happy, as usual.

“ _Louuuuu_ come _on_ , we have to go,” Harry whined, spinning around from her searching to face Louis and put on her best puppy dog eyes. If she hadn’t been sitting on the bed, Louis’ was sure her knees would have given out.

“Right, right, I guess I will be attending my first high school dance,” Louis gave in, not sure she could handle anymore banter over it. It was a lost cause from the start, anyway.

Harry giggled and beamed at Louis. “We’ll make sure Liam and Zayn have their Pretty in Pink moment,” she sighed, jokingly. 

“Enough of that movie, it's bad enough that you forced me to watch it _twice_ last week,” Louis groaned, but she couldn’t hold back her own smile.

“Oh, come on, Lou. It's romantic,” she insisted, dreamily. Louis just rolled her eyes and looked away.

~~~

And that’s how Louis found herself tightening a fucking _bolo tie_ around the color of an old white button up dress shirt, nearly sweating through the material. Zayn was pacing behind her, much too occupied by his own plans to notice Louis’ nerves.

“I’m just going to fucking _do it,_ bro. I’m going to tell her how I feel. I need to, right? I can’t just keep letting this go on. Or… maybe this is a bad time. Maybe I should wait. No!” Zayn rambled to himself, unlit cigarette in his hand. As nervous as he was, he knew Louis’ mom would have his head if he lit up in her house.

“Zayn!” Louis snapped, startling him. “You _really_ need to chill, dude.”

“Sorry, Lou. I’m making it all about me. So when are you meeting up with Harry?” Zayn asked. Immediately, Louis wished she could go back to his nonsense muttering as her heart rate skyrocketed. The harsh reality of the evening was that Zayn would be picking Liam up separately, at Louis own insistence, and Harry would already be at school helping decorate. That meant that Louis was left to walk into the crowded, sweaty gym, flowers in hand, alone. 

For the entire week of preparation Louis was given, she was thinking of Harry (as usual). After she went home from Harry’s that evening, her thoughts immediately began to spiral. Had Harry just _asked her to the dance?_ No, there was no way. They were going as friends. So should she get flowers? What should she wear? And so on. 

It felt like all she thought about from the second she woke up to the second she went to sleep was how much she _liked_ Harry. All she could do was pine and admire and wonder while simultaneously constantly worrying about being found out. _But_ she couldn't ignore the niggling feeling that _maybe_ Harry might feel something for her too, because she was always there, laughing at Louis’ jokes and entertaining her little brothers and doodling on her binders and there was always this warmth between them. It felt like they were the only two girls in the entire world, sometimes.

Louis really didn’t feel like dumping all of those feelings on Zayn right at the moment, so she went with, “I’m meeting her there at eight.”

Zayn clapped her on the shoulder and she spun around to straighten out his tie. He was barely recognizable under the fitted suit and without his usual uniform of denim and combat boots. It made Louis giggle, thinking about her broody best friend, shitting it about meeting Liam’s snooty parents. Really, she hoped they were kind to him because she saw the way he looked at Liam, and could tell he would never hurt her. She couldn't help but smile and make a face while doing some final adjustments of Zayn’s suit. She didn’t want to get emotional.

“Go get ‘em tiger,” she mocked, and shoved him towards the door. 

~~~

When Louis walked into the gym, she could hear heart beat over the music shaking the gym floor. She felt nervous and embarrassed, standing alone, but hesitant to find Harry too. She didn’t have much time to ponder it because Harry crashed into her from behind.

“Lou! You made it,” she greeted her with a tight hug and a bright grin. When Louis spun around, she zeroed in on the tie right away and her thousand watt smile bumped up to a million. “Duckie!?” she all but squealed, and then took Louis hand and twirled her around. 

Louis smiled bashful, “Not sure if I’m cool enough, but you are definitely Andie in this beautiful dress, H.”

Harry gave her a softer smile and ducked her head, before zeroing in on the corsage box in Louis’ hand. “Are those for me?” she almost shouted with excitement, and over the loud music. Louis pushed the box toward her and shrugged.

“Thank you, Lou! These are perfect,” she exclaimed as she slipped it over her wrist. Louis was worried the flowers would be too obvious, but it had been getting harder and harder to prioritize her fear over making Harry feel good. She was glad she had, seeing Harry admire the blossoms softly.

As people started to fill in the dance floor, Harry and Louis made it their mission to locate Zayn and Liam. When they finally found them, it only took one glance at them for Harry to shriek happily and Louis to smirk. The two were holding hands, cuddled up tightly as they came in from the cold air. As they approached, Louis raised her eyebrows and Zayn grinned. Ah, Louis thought, he told her. 

The lovesickness radiated off of them and made the night feel rosy. The four danced with each other and with other kids from school and Louis couldn't keep the smile off of her face. They made their way to the snack table and devoured half of it, laughing and joking.

[I Think We're Alone Now - Tiffany](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wsi43H9FTtE)

When a synth beat that Louis recognized filtered through the speakers and Harry gripped her hand so tightly, Louis almost felt like she was floating. 

“Lou! We have to,” Harry said breathlessly, and Louis ran after her towards the dance floor. Harry’s loud laugh filtered back to her and when they pushed into the crowd, she was still laughing. “I thought you hated this song,” she yelled over the music, breathing heavily, already dancing. 

“But you love this song,” Louis yelled back, drunk on the music and Harry’s sparkling eyes as she danced too. The few other kids who Louis and Zayn were friends with and had made it to the dance saw them dancing to the shit pop music and made their way over, laughing. They made a blob of dark colors and messy hair in the center of the pastel pool of crinoline, but everyone was smiling and happy to be dancing together. 

Louis gripped Harry's hands and they twirled and the entire world felt pink. Her dress swished around Louis knees and they bumped elbows and knees and hips as they jumped and danced. Their friends surrounded them and the music felt like it was throbbing through the floorboards, but all Louis could feel was Harry dancing next to her. The world spun around them and Louis felt laughter bubble out of her mouth and float to the ceiling, as she flicked her hair out of her face, wet with sweat. 

They faced each other and screamed along to the song. Louis knew every word by heart from the many times Harry had cranked the radio and screamed along when it came on. As she stared into Harry’s eyes and Harry looked back at her, chest heaving, dimples digging into her cheeks, she felt like nothing could touch her. She was invincible here, dancing with Harry and their friends, singing along to fucking Tiffany, having fun at a stupid school dance. This was where she was meant to end up. The years of feeling different from everyone else led her here, to Harry and Zayn and Liam and this moment where it feels like nothing could go wrong.

The few months she had known Harry were flashing through her mind like the twinkling lights above them. Months full of laughing with Harry at lunch and driving her around town, but also months of sharing with her. Months of giving pieces of herself to Harry, and Harry taking them in and protecting them. For every moment Louis was nervous or closed off, Harry was grinning and patient, willing to wait. And now, she felt as open and free as she ever had and she had Harry to thank for that. She couldn’t keep the smile off of her face as she and Harry danced and her heart pounded against her rib cage _for Harry._

And Louis could feel the worry and fear drain out through her pores as she danced wildly, so wrapped up in the feeling that this girl was someone special and here she was thrashing wildly next to Louis, the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. And every teen movie and epic love song and rosy daydream was coming together in this one spectacular moment.

They danced until the final beats echoed through the gym before they made their way to the edge of the dance floor as another upbeat song started playing and other students started dancing around them again. When they reached the outer perimeter, all they could do was smile at each other, not paying any mind to everyone around them.

“Harry I-” Louis started, but one of the other girls who had volunteered to help set up came up and grabbed Harry’s arm. 

“Harry! Streamer emergency. Ms. Jefferson says you have the key to the art closet, can you grab me some?” The perky girl interrupted.

Harry looked to Louis, clearly frustrated at the interruption. “Were you gonna say something?” she asked, but Louis couldn’t say anything now. 

“Nah. I’m gonna go to the bathroom, but will you meet me right here after?” Louis asked, meeting Harry’s eye. She nodded and promised she would before letting the perky girl tug her away. Louis searched the crowd for Zayn, but couldn’t find him or Liam, so she headed to the bathroom. It was empty, not close enough to the end of the night for fashion mishaps or covert cigarette breaks, Louis guessed. She took in her reflection in the dirty mirror and decided she would just do it. She would meet Harry back in the gym and finally tell her. Harry was sweet and wonderful and kind, she would never hurt Louis.

When she was finished, she splashed some water on her face and made her way back to the gym. She could hear a slow melody playing and was glad she wasn’t going to have to yell over the music to find Harry. When she stepped into the gym, eyes finding the spot they promised to meet, she felt her throat tighten. As Peter Gabriel crooned through the speakers, Louis spotted Harry with her hands on some linebacker type’s shoulders. He smiled down at her and Louis couldn't make out her face as she spun on her heals and crashed through the doors. Zayn bumped into her near the side entrance to the gym, but it didn't stop her. He followed after and Liam set off to find Harry.

“Louis! Where are you going?” Zayn shouted after her but once she got outside she stopped and turned to face him. 

“She was dancing with some guy,” she could hear how strangled her words felt and she was furious. Zayn came over and pulled her in tight and she let a few tears slip into the material of his jacket. 

Eighteen _fucking_ years, she thought to herself. You kept up the charade for eighteen years and then you blow it because you thought she liked _you_ back? She _made you feel safe?_ Yeah, right.

Louis stood there and let the sharp voice in her head run rampant, so angry at herself for getting hurt. She whipped around when she heard the door opening and saw Harry silhouetted by the lights inside the gym. “Louis,” she began, and her voice cracked in a way that Louis knew meant she was upset.

Zayn stepped slightly in front of Louis and Harry’s eyebrows furrowed. She peered at Louis behind him and Louis could feel her imploring Louis to give her a chance. It made Louis more grateful than she could say that Zayn was willing to protect her. In all honesty, she wasn't sure he even noticed he was doing it, but she stepped out from behind him and nudged him towards the door, where Liam was waiting. 

And for my final trick, Louis thought, I’ll let her shatter my feelings one more time. But she still couldn’t say no to Harry. She wiped her nose with her sleeve and avoided Harry’s eyes, waiting for her to say something.

“Listen, I’m gonna go-” Louis began after a few seconds of silence but Harry took a few steps towards her.

“No, wait,” Harry said softly, “please don’t.”

Harry crossed the rest of the distance in what felt like an instant and all of the sudden Harry’s huge hands were on her cheeks and she was kissing her. Under the single, dim light behind the school gym, Louis felt fireworks and earthquakes and meteor showers as Harry pressed against her and ran her fingers through Louis hair. Louis hands found their way to Harry waist and she let herself exhale. 

When Harry finally pulled away, Louis was grinning. “I’m so sorry,” Harry said, breathless. “After we got the streamers Sarah brought me over to talk to her friends and Brad kind of just, started dancing with me and everyone was watching and I didn’t know how to tell him no, but all I wanted to do was meet you back at that spot and tell you that I love you. And that was so stupid and when you walked in I felt like I was going to be sick because I only want to dance with _you,”_ Harry rambled and Louis started laughing. 

Harry’s eyebrows furrowed and her face turned stormy. “Are you _laughing?”_ she demanded, voice raising a little.

“No! I mean yes! But not at you, never at you. I’m laughing because we both decided to tell each other were in love with the other during a _Tiffany_ song, and then almost fudged it all because of some brick wall named _Brad_ ,” Louis continued to giggle and Harry fell into her, finally letting out her own giggle. Harry reached out to toy with the strings of Louis tie, and Louis rolled her eyes with a smile.

”Everyone knows Duckie and Andie should have gotten together in the end,” Harry whispered and Louis couldn’t help but laugh as she wrapped are arm around Harry’s waist.

They didn't even go back into the dance, sneaking around the corner to the parking lot. It was deserted and Louis kissed Harry right there against the car and for once she wasn't afraid of being too much, or too obvious. She just let herself feel happy and in love. 

“  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> omg thank you sm if you made it this far! i’m nervous abt having this published but i really enjoyed writing it and the story is special to me, so thanks for reading! and one more thank you to comebackpls1d for organizing this all because this fest really was the push i needed to write something again!! i’m and-id-marry-larry on tumblr so come talk to me if you want 🥺👉👈 also if you liked it here’s the [fic post](https://and-id-marry-larry.tumblr.com/post/626894845231890432/the-devils-in-the-details-but-youve-got-a) if you rb i i will love you 4ever :)


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